Please Make Another Selection

As the afternoon goes on, I start thinking that I'd like something a little salty. Chips! I meander over to the vending machine, and notice that they've actually stocked the thing with baked chips, peanuts, and other more-healthy or less-harmful snack products. I think to myself, "Even better! I can get something with the ingredients of corn and salt, skip the fat and chemicals, and everyone's a winner."

I fish out a dollar from my wallet, that's there thanks to the George Bush tax cuts the last few years, feed the machine and enter the two-digit code for the baked chips.

"Please make another selection," an error code flashes.

Huh? How can that be? The row is full of baked chips! I try the two-digit combo again.

"Please make another selection."

I try all the healthy items. None work. I get my money back, and go through the process again. Zip. Nothing. Nada. I repeat my attempt at the baked chips code in one final try.

"Please make another selection."

I wonder if the same problem exists for the unhealthy items? I punch in a code for Snack 'ems.

"Zoooosh!" My money is accepted and I get a high-fat, salty snack with an ingredients list a mile long.

We have the technology to put a man on the moon, satellites in orbit, communicate with each other wirelessly, open doors automatically, keep cool things cool and keep hot things hot, but why can't we get vending machines to work? Does John Kerry have a plan to fix the vending machine crisis that's been created due to the Bush administration taking their eyes off the ball?