The Presidential Interviews

Can you imagine if you interviewed for a job, the way Bush and Kerry are conducting their debates?

"Muckdog, why do you think you're qualified for this job?"

"First of all, I'd like to thank the panel for coming here today to this interview, and I'd like to thank you for the question. It's a good question. You know, my opponents for this job are seriously underqualified. I've worked with many of them over the years, and time and time again they've failed in tasks that have led to project failures. They've been a disaster. Now, if you hire me, I'm going to put an end to that. I have a plan to be successful."

"Okay, thank you. Can you name some of your successes and failures, and in the latter, what you did to remedy the situations?"

"That's a good question. In order to be successful, you have to have a plan and work diligently to complete assignments and deliverables. You have to be steadfast. It's hard work. You have to work on the right tasks, and not distract yourself with the wrong tasks at the wrong time. My opponents for this job have blown every opportunity they've had to complete deliverables. I think they're the only people on the planet who think they have a clue to what they're doing. I have a plan to be successful."

"If we hire you, one of your first assignments would be a new project. Tell us how you would begin."

"I appreciate that question. You have to have a plan. I've got one. My opponents don't. Listen carefully to what they tell you when you're interviewing them. First, they say they have a plan, but then they start the work without a plan. They're flip-floppers, trying to be on both sides of having a plan and not having a plan. I wake up everyday, thinking of a plan. That's the first thing on my mind. That's my job!"

"Very well, that completes this interview. Do you have anything to add?"

"I'd like to thank the interview panel. You've asked great questions here today. In a few days, you're going to have to make a decision. Should the organization hire one of my opponents? They'll talk tough during their 30-minute interview. But look at their track record over their careers. The only thing consistent about them, is their inconsistency. They've gone through their careers, without a plan. I have a plan. It's a good plan, and I've shared that with you here today. I have a website, where you can get more information about my plan. When you make that decision in a few days, I'm asking you to hire me. I think the best days of this organization are in front of it! God bless you, and God bless this organization!"